time to lock in…
After spending the first month of this year sick and in bed, I’ve had a lot of time to rest, recharge and reconnect with myself. I miss the version of myself that was UNSTOPPABLE and insanely driven and undeterrable. This year, I want to get back to myself in a new way. I’ve grown and learned and healed so much in this past year, Alhamdullilah, and fear doesn’t control me the way that it used to. I’ve realized everything that is holding me back is all in my own head. Where’s the version of me that didn’t care what other people thought? Only God can judge.
Lately I’ve been driving myself crazy with the way that I procrastinate and trying to understand why I do it. It feels easier to distract myself, but the more I do it the more I feel like I’m going to EXPLODE. Today I had enough of my own nonsense. I went to a cafe with my laptop and notebook and got to work. There’s so many things I could do, so many ways to reach my full potential, yet I hold back. I’m trying to figure out why I’m scared of my own success. There’s a little voice in my head telling me I’m not going to be good at it, but when I imagine myself in my greatest, most creative self, I imagine that voice as a little cloud of fog near my head, maybe like a little mosquito in my ear that I need to SQUASH.
I procrastinate because I’m scared to reach my full potential. I’m scared to reach my full potential because it means I’ll have to let go of my past self. I’m scared to let go of my past self because it means I have to start new. I’m scared to start new because I’ve gotten comfortable… things are slow and stagnant right now, but once I get going they’ll begin to move. Once I start running towards my goals I can’t stop until I get to the finish line! My legs and lungs will burn, but I’ll have to keep going. The lazy voice in my head says no, stay here, but I don’t want to be here anymore! My ‘comfortable’ has gotten UNCOMFORTABLE! I need movement, I need momentum, and just like running once I get into the flow it will feel natural.
The negative little voice in my head needs to be drowned out.. it needs to be replaced with positivity. Positive voices, podcasts, peaceful melodies, motivational videos, new information, Quran and Islamic videos. As I’ve been in this coffee shop uploading files to my Photography page, I’ve been watching YouTube videos and taking notes on the key things I needed to hear…
1) CREATE more than CONSUME.
2) Create an ‘I can do it’ list.. things you are proud of to look back on for the bad days.
3) Gratitude journal daily: attract positivity by looking for it in all things.
4) Find the place where your skill matches the challenge in order to have growth.
5) SELF DOUBT is paralyzing, IDEA DOUBT is growth. “I’m not crap, but this version of the idea is. I’ll get there though if I stick with it!”
6) If I want to get to another level, I have to DO THE WORK. EVERY. DAY.
7) Stop making excuses! Stop putting things off! Stop saying “I’ll start when…” JUST START! Circumstances don’t have to be perfect! Changing unrelated things ISN’T going to be what makes me start… I have to just make myself do it! Just sit down, suck it up, romanticize and enjoy the PROCESS, and DO IT. Just mind my own business, keep my head down, say no to what doesn’t align with my goals, and DO IT!
8) Fear is part of success… most of the world is playing it safe. KEEP BEING SCARED AND WORK THROUGH IT UNTIL IT ISN’T SCARY ANYMORE.. eventually it will feel EXCITING! Head into the storm and power through the pain and the anxiety and fear until you get through to the other side.
9) You won’t become motivated until you TAKE ACTION. Motivation only comes once you START.
10) You have to be okay with putting yourself first and not pleasing everyone.. Only YOU will fully understand what you NEED in order to SUCCEED. The only person who can reject you is yourself, by rejecting your own needs.
And finally…
11) Failing to Try is no different than Trying to Fail.
